I've Decided
I've decided I am thoroughly sick of giving up before I begin. I hate failure. Not because of others, but because of my self. I can't handle my inner critic. This summer, my concern isn't to be good but to simply do. I don't work towards my 10,000 hours to master anything because I hate that its 10,000 hours of falling upwards. Because of that, I'm doing a poem a day. I will fail at that as well most likely. But I am content to try and to fail until I'm not bad. Aesthetics aren't birthed out of merely thoughts, but out of the grit of humanity. So welcome to my humanness in all of its bad poems. Welcome to my 10,000 hours.
A Poem of Failure
A war that is commonplace
Made so mundane that no news reports
Habitually hidden beyond the grasp of the public
A bloodless war
Yet none have escaped
For there is no escape from the mind when the body revolts
The war of failure
Pioneered by the pioneers
Those sweet souls who took their craft to the masses
And were met anguished rejection
The rejection not of their peers, but their own
Who knew that the stomach threw the biggest gut punch?
Who could imagine that the nervous system threatened collapse?
The price that failure wages is
The Civil War of the Self
The cries of mockers stung but the critic within sharpens daggers
Sporadically screaming of failure
The body attempting to rip away from the mind
That wretch who brought this failure upon
The body staging a gut wrenching revolt and sleepless nights
Haunting until capitulation
Meeting at the courthouse of the heart
Promising to never again try
The clutter of ideas never breaking light
From the shadow of the spotless mind
White walled asylum
Condemned to the vaccum of obedience and the 9 to 5
And in this the body is pleased
The comfort and ease of
A life presented as one of the masses
Where the mind is kept under control
The body condemning itself when creating
While the mind forms a prison break
And if you think this poem is a failure
Try risking something for once
Risk failure and fall hard
Face the riot of the body
And unite yourself and try again